


I Don't Think I Need You Anymore

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: (but it's kenny so..), Abandoment, Abandoment Issues, Aged Up, Angst, Craig's POV, Death, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Poor Craig, also, fight me, the title is based of MCR lyrics/song, they're in highschool, tweek is kinda an ass, tweek moves away, will add more tags later, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 19:03:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14063469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Here we are!” Kenny yelled, smile on his face. I rolled my eyes, taking a seat by the water, “We should skinny dip.”“How much liquor have you had?”“N-” he hiccuped, “None!”“Dude… I watched you down at least a few shots of vodka..” I looked up at him......After Tweek leaves Craig finds he has abandonment issues, and has a hard time trusting others, and thinks everyone will abandon him in the end.Kenny decides he wants to befriend the noiretteNothing good comes from that...especially when Tweek comes back...





	1. {Prolog} Broken Promise

**Author's Note:**

> YES  
> I'm starting a new fanfic  
> SUE ME

I sat on that bench for hours. I watched as the sky turned from the burst of colors from the sun rise, sunny and blue day, to a fiery sunset. I didn't leave until it was dark, the clouds covered up the stars.

 

Today marked the day I lost hope.

 

Today marked the day he didn't show up.

 

He promised he would...

 

But…

 

He was a…

 

Liar.


	2. Exposition is nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never once in my life had I had an anxiety attack.  
> I'd witnessed them hundreds of times, but never had one myself…  
> That is, until after he left anyways.

I stared at the wall, my homework was already done, and I'd re-watched Red Racer throughout the week, leaving me nothing to do on the weekend.

Sure I could go to that party Token was throwing, but I never was one for parties, especially since he left (of course it didn't help that the party was going to happen tomorrow).

It almost felt like he took a piece of me when he did.

 

Tweek and his parents moved to Denver, expanding their coffee business into the city.

For the first month Tweek came every weekend. Then he started having to come every other weekend… then he missed a Saturday, and started coming every other Sunday, and then that became no visits.

When I was sure he wasn’t ever coming back I started to become miserable. I turned everyone away, screaming if Token or Clyde even looked at me.

I pushed them away.

But I was ok with that...

They couldn’t leave me...

I left them.

With my new free time I decided to distract myself with school. Inow had plans to move away, get a real good job, become a millionaire, make Tweek and everyone in this shitty town jealous, and finally, get Tweek back.

Even after a year of him gone it felt like I was still doing everything for him.

By my sophomore year I had the third best grades in the whole school, and had no friends I hung out with. I'd either sit and eat lunch quietly in the library or else go outside and smoke. The goths never spoke to me when I went outside, although they seemed to stare at me from time to time, but I tried my best to ignore them, and not snap at them.

 

Kenny was the first one that year to talk to me, who wasn't forced to, and wasn't a teacher or my parents or sister.

I'll never forget that sentence.

“Hey, Tucker, do you have a lighter?” It was so simple, and yet, so shocking.

I hadn't talked to Clyde or Token since last year, and I wasn't actively avoiding them(I mean, sure I _was_ avoiding them, _but_ I wouldn’t run a mile in the opposite direction of them), so when someone from THEIR group tried talking to, a group of people I actively avoided, I found my mouth gaping open for a few seconds. This was probably the first time he'd spoken to me since the summer of 7th grade, at the one (and only at that point ) party I'd attended.

“Umm… Yeah?” I looked up at him, my eyes piercing his crystal blue eyes. They were so bright, almost like a fluorescent, electric blue. That's what they were, electric, not crystal. I swear his eyes could glow in the dark.

“Can I use it?”

“Why?” I snapped out immediately.

“..So I can light my cigarette?” He almost seemed to question his statement, as if he wasn’t even sure of the words that were coming out of his mouth.. Then again maybe he was weirded out by my question.

“Why?” I repeated.

“Dude! I just tol-”

“No, I mean why should I let you,” I cut him off, glaring down at him. He was only an inch or two short than me at that point, but I still used that as an advantage. I wasn't sure if I really looked badass, or if I looked cringey and stupid, but I hoped it was the first.

“Oh… because….” Kenny stopped, seeming to search his brain for a reason, his eyes lit up for a second, “Because you're nicer than the goth kids!”

I rolled my eyes, “No, I'm not,” I stuffed my lighter into my coat pocket finally, having been holding it in my hand for a bit.

It almost felt evil, or wrong. I'd caused the light to fade away, a pout now taking over his features as he sighed out an “Oh.”

I rolled my eyes again, taking the thing out of my pocket and handing it to him. His smile returned, bigger and brighter than ever. I began walking away, making him tilt his head to the side. He took a long drag from his cigarette before dashing after me, lighter in his hand still, I was reaching for the door when he caught up with me, “Here,” he said, holding the lighter out, almost like an offering.

I shook my head, grabbing the door and opening it up, “Keep it.”

 

For the next week I found myself replaying the incident over and over again in my head, unable to come up with a reason why I did that, after all I was trying my best not to become attached to anyone, and this might start a friendship (which, spoiler alert, it did… kinda…). I wouldn't know, or realize the answer until later.

To me now the answer was simple, blond.

Blond was my favorite hair color. You could say I have a thing for blondes. I wasn't sure if it was due to Tweek, since he was blond, or if I liked him because he was blond. At this point it seemed like a which came first, chicken or the egg, situation at this point.

 

Of course, the boy had somehow found a way deeper into my heart. No longer did I have a slight physical attraction to him, this had become a full blown crush… I guess it was probably bound to, since I spend most of my time with him.

Of course it still was weird. He was totally straight. He had fucked every girl in South Park by now, and was always telling me about who he'd banged last weekend… or at least he had been until a month ago. I wonder if he stopped because of the look I'd always give him. I would try my hardest to be happy for him, but… I couldn't. It… for some reason.. hurt.

I knew he was a slut.

I knew he cheated on most the people he'd ever dated.

I knew he'd fuck anyone.

And yet..

It hurt.

 

My phone buzzed, making me slightly frown.

It was Kenny…

_Of course_

 

**Perv: Hey**

**Perv: Can I stay at ur place?**

**Perv: Please**

 

**why?**

 

**Perv: Fifht**

**Perv: *fight**

 

I stared at it for a moment. I guessed he'd meant his parents were fighting or something like that. Normally I'd be more willing to let him stay over, but… I couldn't share a bed with him anymore.

Especially not since it was so close to…

I shook my head. I needed to focus on now, and now Kenny was bothering me.

 

**Why don't you ask Cartman or Kyle or Stan or someone else**

 

**Perv: They said no**

**Perv: P L E A S E**

**Perv: Just one night!!**

**Perv: I'll bring weed and beer**

 

**Make it vodka and you have a deal**

 

**Perv: K be there in an hour.**

 

**K**

**If you get here sooner I'm not going to answer the door**

 

**Perv: Dick**

 

I stared at the text. I would've said yes even if he didn't bring those things. I could feel a blush spread across my face as I realized we'd be the only ones in the house.

I'd only fallen in love one other time, and that was before I started having this stupid abandonment issue.

Ever since Tweek broke his promise to come every week I'd seemed to become less trusting of people, and when he stopped showing up all together, I started having anxiety about everyone leaving me. It didn't help that my group of friends had seemed to move on with their lives, even with me no longer sitting with them. At this point Clyde and Token will talk to me, but, it isn't the same as it used to be, it's more of awkward talk you'd have with an acquaintance not one of your best friends.

 

Never once in my life had I had an anxiety attack.

I'd witnessed them hundreds of times, but never had one myself…

That is, until after he left anyways.

It seemed now when I wasn't distracting myself with school and tv, I started worrying that Kenny was going to leave me.

He stopped hanging out with his group at lunch (expect on Fridays, he sat with them on Fridays) and started smoking with me outside. We sat at the bench, inhaling the toxic fumes and occasionally eating something like a bag of chips.

I remember the first day he didn't show up I started having a full on panic attack. Everything became… blurry, everything was so surreal to me, my heart began racing, my arms began to shake. I could feel what little I'd eaten earlier that day rising up, daring to escape from my body. It felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen in my lungs, no matter how long and deep my breaths were. I wanted to scream, but I found I couldn't. I got up, not sure what I was doing. Everything was so blurry, it seemed like every limb in my body was numb. I wasn't even sure if I was walking, running, or just standing there like an idiot.

Not sure exactly what happened, but, two or three hours later I found myself at Stark’s Pound…

The day after I learned he'd just gotten sick, and wasn't there. He hadn't been trying to abandon me.

Still for the next week I was a super dick to him, not letting him use my lighter once.

 

_Knock knock_

 

And there he is.


End file.
